As the darkness closes in I become entranced by the shadowy figures moving about me. Watching and waiting.. Wanting to drift away with them, I fall victim to my own painfull sleep. Dreams distress me and life upsets me. Must I go on? Who knows. I await the day death visits me one final time.

It would seem you stop time when I stare into yours. The world moves slowly and your all I notice. The way you smile makes my heart skip beats, the way you laugh melts me, the way you look back into my eyes fills me with compassion and I am overjoyed at the fact we are in love.

Torn- short poem

I am torn, torn apart. Every little piece burnt to a crisp by your napalm. Filled with rage, piled with fear. My life, a joke in yours.

-Jr

Who cares

The darkness closes in
All alone a sitting stone
I await my brewing fate
Nothing there nothing here
A dim and dark place to be
Where to go or what to do?
No one knows and no one cares
Falling hard and falling fast
Watch out here comes the past
Cycles once cycles twice cycles trice and hope it ends your life

-Jr

If short poem

If you're cold I will warm you up
If you're hot I will cool you down
If you're alone I am there
If you're scared I will protect you
If you're here or there no matter where
I will always be there

Be Happy Love

Don't be sad don't be mad
Don't be down don't you frown
Drown in the love from above
Let it go easy O's, that's how it goes
Be in love with the One who loves deepest of all
You'll never fail, you'll never fall
Love the One who loves deepest of all...


-John R Knipp

Short Junk... Twinkle twinkle little love

Twinkle of my eye, sparkle in the sky
Beautifull art, love of my heart
Your arms around mine they truly wish
Your touch, your kiss, lips to lips
My very hope and every wish, come true with you


-John R Knipp

Crap...

Your face glows brighter than the sun on a hot summers day
Your hair shines like rays of light through the clouds on a stormy afternoon
Your blue eyes seem deeper than the sea and would penetrate my soul if I stared too long
Your love opens the doors to my stone heart and reaches depths unknown to all
Your beauty is unparalleled and unwavering
Your touch destroyes me completely

-John R Knipp

Words gone wrong... #1

You light my day, you light my night
You burn brighter than a bonfire in the dead of night
My feelings become light as I think of you
My thoughts seem clear when I hear your voice whispering in my ear
Our eyes twinkle each time they meet
Our hearts set sail like a thousand fleets
Apart our hearts have skipped a million beats
Together our hearts lives and sings
Ever wanting to be together even apart our thoughts are not far
Live life as life loves that's all said and should be done


-John R Knipp

Final- life summary

In August 2007 the family decided to move and start a new life in Minnesota together. Certain plans were made and things were promised that never happened. Instead new and better doors were opened to the family when we finally moved. I went to a semester of highschool, found a job and decided to leave school because I wasn't interested in school anymore. I worked all throught 2008 then my mom suggested I think about college so I took the GED passed and was accepted immediately. I am studying photography for now and hopefully other degrees in the future. So in summary growing up life wasn't so peachy but it became better and better as I grew older.

That about sums up my life for the past eighteen years. Well... I just recieved my permmit in 2009 which is the most recent thing that's happened to me.


-John R Knipp

Teen Years 2000-2006

Because I had a bad birth family and my birth mother couldn't take care of me, she droped me off at a great aunt by marriages house. Well I soon found out my younger brother had been living with her since he was about six (he was about 9 now and I was about 10). Oh Birth mother decides to take off and maybe visit a few times over a course of four years, that's how long I lived in my aunt's house.

This great aunt immediately puts me into fifth grade and teaches me everything I needed and should have learned in my previous school years. It was a serious crash course of five years of knowledge (kindergarden- 4th grade) into one year wow crazy huh? I became an honor roll student within the year ('C' up was considered honor roll I usually had A's, B's and maybe a C or two). I kept this up till the beginning of eighth, meanwhile at the aunts house things weren't so great mostly for me but for my brother as well sometimes...

If I did anything she thought or felt was wrong I would be spanked (during my first year at her house) then it progressed to being hit with a paddle or anything that was close enough for her to grab. I'm not saying I was the best kid in the world but I came from a life where I had no rules or boundaries to follow. So when I came to her house she expected me to obey without question or problems. I did try my best to follow the rules but I did disobey on occasions whether by purpose or accident. But sometimes I wouldn't have done anything wrong and she would flip out on me, my brother or both of us at once (her sister would come over alot some times to help 'discipline' us).

Don't get me wrong there were definitely good moments or happy times with both birth family and great aunts. Alot of it depended on moods or how we interacted together, and of course rules being followed. In eighth grade my brother had major problems with both himself and the great aunts so he was taken by my uncle then I completely lost contact with him to this very day.

I met my family that I am with now and until I'm dead... during the summer after seventh grade when they became my God parents. At that time I had become 'rebellious' even though I did my chores I basically kept to myself at the house, had relationships that only my friends knew about, my grades dropped and I was no longer an honor roll student but I passed with the lowest grades possible. I was cursing everyday, and other things I probably shouldn't have done. In June of 2005 my life with the great aunt became so bad she called the cops on me a few times (for no real reason) and called my God parents to get me or else. When I was told they were willing to adopt me I completely changed my ways and did everything I possibly could to be an asset to the family. They had to go through a waiting period and get recertified before I could live with them. During that time I was in a foster home and they would come and get me for visits until I could live with them. At 16 years old I was finally adopted by John and Tiffany Knipp in May of 2006.

-John R Knipp

Growing up in the 90's

This will mostly be about me and my life. I was born July 17, 1990 a beautifull and healthy baby boy. Sparkly blue eyes and blonde hair as I grew older my hair darkened and turned brown.

I lived with a single birth mother a grandpa (who was a registered pedophile/sex offender) and grandma (both grandparents were alcoholics and smokers) in a two bedroom mobile trailer located on rubber plant owned property where my grandpa worked. My birth mother used many kinds of drugs, while also being a prostitute throughout my childhood. She has had seven children including me (as far as I know) three girls and four boys, the last two boys are five and six at this time (I am the oldest boy but the sisters are older than I am).

All of my siblings and I were drug positive at birth. My three sisters were adopted out from birth, I would have been adopted but the papers saying I was drug positive mysteriously disappeared, my brother who was born in '91 was taken by another family member so I did not grow up with him untill I was ten (tell you why later). Our youngest brothers were born in the 2000's and were adopted by a great aunt by marriage (The uncle was dead, shes not the best person to live with I'll tell ya in another blog) but for now I lost all contact with siblings (the two youngest weren't born yet).

My birth mother never enforced anything because she usually went away with some guy/guys for several days at a time (this happened alot she was gone more than around). Also she never really took/made me go to school so I failed kindergarden, and I have no clue how I managed to skate by to the fourth grade because all I remember doing growing up is watching tv, playing video games or outside and going to group homes/juvenile hall.

When I was about eight or nine my grandma died (she was the one who mainly took care of me and tried to make a good life for me), the trailer we lived in was demolished by the power plant for health reasons I assume, and I lived and slept in the back of a truck with a camper shell. So I was in a state of confusion or shock and I was emotionaly and mentaly hurt because my life was being turned upside down.

My birth mother could't care for me anymore and my grandpa was in jail at the time so she decided to drop me off at The great aunt by marriages house... Thats another story... Eventually these blogs won't be so emotionally draining.



-John R Knipp

First Time

Well this is my first blog or something, I'm not sure what to write but... I am currently in college at AI for photography. Sounds lame but my mom saw I had talent and potential as a photographer, so I took her advice enrolled in college and was accepted as was she (photography as well) and my brother (Animation).

I dropped out of school at the end of my freshman year of highschool which my grades were terrible, during my sophmore year I had a home school teacher once or twice a week passed with A's and B's, left school and worked full time during my would have been jr and senior year. The time period I would have been going to college and had decided I wanted to go came around but I needed my GED (General Education Diploma or as my Dad said 'Good Enough Diploma', it was already too late for the highschool diploma) so I took the GED several weeks before College started and recieved my Diploma during my first week of college.

I passed the GED with flying colors, almost like a rainbow. Next blog will probably be my past to give you an idea on how I see life.


-John R Knipp